Just Because I Want You To Know
This whole deployment I've been hoping and praying that it won't be us. It won't be us watching the casualty notification officer pull up in our driveway. It won't be us answering the phone to find out our soldier is wounded. Is that selfish? Even if it is, I still hope and pray that it won't be us. Right now, though, I feel like we're living on borrowed time. I've got a pretty good idea of where my beloved is and what he is doing and I'm scared. Soldiering is more than a job for him; it's his calling, who he is, what he does, and he's good at it. Even in peacetime, though, it's an inherently dangerous occupation, and this is not peacetime.
Until he's done with the task at hand, I won't hear from him. I have to pretend that no news is good news. I have to pretend that today is just an ordinary day. I have to pretend that the news is happening to someone else. It's hard to do, you know. Because even the sound of the birds singing reminds me that today is not ordinary after all.
So I'm here. And I'm worried. And I'm scared. And every now and then, I have to stop to wipe the tears from my eyes. But mostly I'm just hoping and praying that it won't be us.
44 comments:
Oh Jennie, I can't imagine your heart's agony as you wait. What a long and terrible wait it must be. We are holding your husband in our prayers and prayed especially for him yesterday, and for all of our soldiers, on such a beautiful feast of Mercy. We will continue to pray for peace - near, in your heart, and in far away places too.
Blessings -
(((hugs))) I'll be praying for him and offering up sacrifices for the both of you. Wish I could do more.
I think if your family often and the sacrifice you are all making. Many thoughts & prayers for you all, especially for his safety.
Jennie dearest, I can only begin to imagine the anxiety as you wait to hear from your sweetheart. I will be praying for you and using the prayer Michele sent often.
May God hold David in the palm of his hand and keep him safe. May the Blessed Mother be with you and help you through this weary, anxious time.
Much love always,
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Jennie, as a former Army wife, I know your anxiety and fear. You and your husband and children are in my prayers.
I can't even remember if I've posted on your blog before but I love it and check in as often as I can.
Please know that I'm praying for you in this time of agony.
God bless!
i'm praying for you and your's today.
I will be keeping you and your beloved in my prayers.
I'm 'de-lurking' to say you are in my thoughts and I love your blog.
Jennie, we are praying for all of you!
Oh, my dear sister. I wish I could be there just to share simple conversations and silences with you. I love you and am hoping for Dave's safety...
Jennie, even though I am not there in person to wipe those tears from your eyes, you are in my heart where I hold you close, and all you hold dear. Cling fast to Christ. I will pray for David's safety over there and safe return home. I hope that one day soon this darkness will be a distant memory.
Jennie,
Even though we have not officially "met" I just wanted to let you know that I think you have a beautiful family and you all are in my thoughts and prayers! We will be praying especially hard for the safety of your husband and for your peace of mind! You are so brave!
Hallie
Praying, Jennie. Praying hard.
Praying for David's safety Jennie. God bless you, you have my deepest gratitude for your husband's heroic service and your bravery in bearing this burden.
Jennie, I am praying for your husband, you, and your children. May Mary wrap her mantle around all of you and may God hold you in the palm of his hand!
Jennie-
Thanks for always making me smile! I am thinking of you and will pray that all stays well until your hubby is home with you!
love, Rachel
Oh, my dear Jennie!
I love you and your family so. I will be praying even more - not only for David's safety, but for your peace. A peace that transcends all understanding that only the Lord can provide.
I have no idea what you are going through. But, I am so proud of you that you are sharing your struggles and allowing us to pray for you.
Lots of love,
Amber
Waiting is often the hardest part. And the worrying that comes with it.
I'm praying for David's safety and your comfort during this incredibly difficult time.
Words are not sufficient, so I'll just say that I'm praying for you and David.
For you.
Bless your heart! I cannot imagine what you must be going through! We will add him to our prayers the next weeks. And you guys too!
Praying for God to keep David and the men with him safe. And praying for you.
Jennie, I pray daily for David and all the soldiers who are out there even if they are here state side. Please also keep my four sons who are in the military. Your husband and all the military are never far from my thoughts and prayers. Daily do I lift them up in prayer to St. Michael the Archangel and to Our Blessed Mother. I pray also for the families who are left behind to wonder.
As you say, David is a warrior. He knows what he is doing and will do his very best to come home to you.
Your strength always astounds me and I am so very proud to have you for my daughter.
I too, am worried and scared and crying with you. I watch and listen every day and am always so thankful that I don't answer the phone to hear crying on the other end. Then I know that you and David have made it through another day.
I am hugging you and always with you.
Love,
Mommy
Must be hard - I can only imagine - I will be praying for you, your hubby, the kids, and the other soldiers & thier families.
I will light a candle for your beloved tonight and offer up my hardships for his safety. I will also pray for peace to come to your heart, sweet Jennie.
I am praying for you to have peace.
Philippians 4:6 and 7
I am praying for peace that surpasses your understanding.
We're hoping and praying, too. And no, it's not selfish.
As the wife of a soldier, your family is near my heart. We will be praying hard for you all!
Sending up a prayer for you, Jennie!
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
Prayers for you and your family.
My husband just left to be out of town for three weeks and I sat and moped around the house all day (and he gets to come home on weekends!) I'll go about my day cheerfully tomorrow and think of you and your family before I make any complaints! God's angels watch over all of you until your hubs is home again!
My heart aches as I just read this. I could say...I can't imagine...but I can "imagine" what you may be going through. That's just it, your pain is not real to anyone but you. And no matter what I could do or say could help that....well, ok....maybe a shopping spree and some chocolate would help take your mind off of it for a second, but I know the pain is still there. Just know that prayer in numbers is powerful, and you'r Father above know what is best for you. I am petitioning our Lord right now for his safety and your aching to be comforted soon.
God Bless,
Michele
Praying for your peace of mind and his safety. I understand the fear you are feeling. When I made the decision to marry William knowing that being a marine/warrior was far more than a job but his true calling, I continued to fall back on Psalms for my peace of mind knowing he would be willingly putting himself in danger.
All of the days of my husband's life were written in the book before one of them came to be.No matter what he does or where he is,his life is in God's hands.However I never stop praying for his safety, for his life and for our lives.I too selfishly pray that I won't be the one to receive the knock at the door. I am only human and he is the love of my life and I can't help but make my desires known to God! Please know I am praying for your strength, and David's safety during this time of waiting.May God bless you and carry the burden of fear and worry you are feeling.
Prayerfully yours,
Kerry
Prayers for you, dear Jennie, and for David. May God keep him safe and bring him home to you soon.
{{{{{Hug}}}}}
We're praying for your husband and family here Jenny.
Please be assured of my prayers tonight specifically through the Chaplet of Divine Mercy...God bless you and your precious family..may Peace flood your soul
I'm so sorry for your worries and agony. Praying hard that it won't be you, or me either. You've hit on my biggest fear!
I'm sorry I missed this yesterday, but late prayers can often be of help so consider you AND your soldier prayed for.
(hugs) and thanks for the sacrifices YOU make and from David.
Can't stop by and read without letting you know I'm praying for him and his continued protection.
I saw your link on Jen's blog and want to let you know that I'll be praying for you as well. My husband was an infantry officer for nearly 7 years and was part of the initial deployment to Bosnia back in the day. I remember the first thirty days before phones were in the field and before the advent of the internet and cell service everywhere how I longed to hear his voice and know he was safe. I dreaded each unexpected knock at the door to our stairwell apartment and dreaded watching the evening news.
And it's been nearly a decade since we lived that life and every once in a while God humbles me and reminds me of the precious gift I have in my husband.
Thank you for being my reminder tonight.
May God Bless you and keep you both,
Jane
Hey, sweetie! I just wanted you to know that you and yours have been in my prayers and heavy on my heart since the beginning of this deployment.
I'm still in Texas on vacation, but Chris got onto someone's network, so I have internet for the moment.
This is Jenn, by the way, but I'm going to leave it logged in as Chris because he's going to want his laptop back soon and I'd rather not make him grumble. So pretend this says whitetrashmama left this comment. ;D
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